irrelevant art

well....

i seem to be having a difficult time getting a camera into work with me.  i hate to post without pictures, but i reckon if i'm to live up to promises....   it's going to have to be like that for the moment.  keep wanting to call.... but not knowing when.   so....    

it's been a whirlwind month.  imagine that you've inherited 'cheers' the bar, and you replaced Sam.  this is the allegory that fits for my circumstance.  many folks i've pissed off, many have dropped from the list of regulars to the now-and-thens.   i've been accused of trying to run everyone off.  ("yes, please, everyone leave now!  i'll just hang out here by myself!  no need for people to enjoy themselves and pay the bills!")   the neighbors hate us b/c we only have one toilet.   So every morning they have urination and vomit stains round the side of their buildings.  broken glass, etc.  we clean up all the trash, but the urin, difficult to do anything about.  i've had some regulars tell me "you've got to keep it dirty in here.  you can't clean it up too much.  it won't be the same and you'll run people off."   hm.  didn't quite know what to say about that one.  i understand the possible sentiment he was going for...... 'this is a hole in the wall, a bit dingey (sp), keep it down-home, yo'.  which is correct, dirty... not so much.

last night was my worst irritation so far.  the bathroom was tagged all over the show.  "taylor", i'll kick your shitty little ass whoever you are.  just rude.  just rude.  but, i've got more paint. 

but, the good things.... are very good indeed........

tuesday

tuesday i will give an update with details of things.  tuesday is the 2nd october.  if i were to obsess, the day after tuesday is the 3rd of October.  also the opening track of matthew ryan's 'east autumn grin' album.  an album which during the past couple weeks here has been rather heavy in my memory.  perhaps next time i will deliberate slightly.  sadly love, still (pt 2), i must love leaving, and 3rd of October.  time and time only, ballad of a limping man, me and my lover... worry.  worry with it's beautiful strings....    anyway, it's 2:41 am.   i might as well go to sleep now.  i am going to sleep with a large sense of the possibilities of the future.  i am enjoying them as i start to drift into my other conciousness for the next 6 or so hours.  good night. 

charlie

i have some kind of strange issue.  oliver and i have been wanting to watch tim burton's 'charlie and the chocolate factory' rendition.  we just finished reading the 'great glass elevator', and oliver is seriously enamoured by the whole flying through space in an elevator idea.  he was mostly excited by the elevator aspect of things, so was disappointed when it didn't go all the way in the film.  but here's the problem....

the first twenty minutes of the film... i was weeping and sobbing.  i had tears flowing down my cheeks.   when charlie found his golden ticket, i began pretending to oliver that i was laughing cos i was shaking so much with tears...    down my cheeks both sides. 

i've not been emotional about anything for at least thirty-one years or so, and i don't remember the last thing that brought a glimmer of moisture to my eye, but i was shakingly weeping with intense unstoppable emotion when charlie found that blasted ticket. 

i also have strong feelings about public display of emotion, especially in such things as bloggly avenues.  it's not my way... but ... this past couple days have not been in my usual way.  so bloody strange. 

  i am going downstairs now.  i will continue my paintingly evening.  please stop by jesse's place and say "hello, your music inspires us all to better things"......  his cd release party is going on right now.  i am missing it, by the way.... =(                     and if you listen to 'colourful year' you can hear nick's tremendous effort at a bit of mild scouse..........    

it's a sin

it was a struggle.  but i  thought what the bloody hell am i struggling about?  20 years.  20 years i've been listening to the folks... so what's the struggle point?  i bought my tickets for the pet shop boys....   30th October.   

the last time i saw them, folks got EXPELLED.  it was...... a sin.   a couple pals took a weekend at my house... a pleasant respite from the rather 'conservative' boarding school in the schwartzwald....   to see the pet shop boys' 'performance' tour date in zurich, switzerland.  my mum graciously dropped us all off.  it's just a 40 odd minute drive from ours. 

after the lovely show, my dad met us round the back for the silly hyper we-met-the-pet-shop-boys photo session when chris about stepped on my dad's foot, and so forth.  he drove us home and we were all giggly folks.   you know... first time meeting your idols type of thing. 

so we get back to the rather 'conservative' boarding school, and keep all that under pretty tight wraps... big no-no, going to see an "unapproved" show.  (at this particular institution there exists a list compiled by a board who looks at lyrics and such to determine whether or not a cd will be approved to be held by students. of course, this makes for interesting dynamics and new relationships between people and their floor-boards , etc....).    the pet shop boys were not, of course, on this approved list.   so this trip was a very closely held secret amongst us participants.

until.... I was so enthusiastic about the whole affair... probably three or four weeks later.... i wore my t-shirt from the show to school.  the 'dean of students' (in quotes cos that title suggests certain qualities that may not have been present in this case), saw me wearing it under my outer shirt.  by that afternoon, all of the students who came with me had been expelled.  no questions asked, nothing.  obviously everyone knew of our adventure and were just waiting for one of us to slip up.  by inference, these poor buggers were expelled.  a few of them were seniors. 

going to see the pet shop boys.   it's a sin.

but.... chris almost stepped on my dad's foot.

i do have other nifty pet shop boys stories.  i'll wait until next time.  it's the hook to get you all to come back salivating with anticipation...

.....

mancunian lass

mancunian on the tracks

      

All my saints have taken bribes
Singing going going gone
All the angels taken dives
Leaving you the only one

-elbow

new things

there're some things a mind cannot process.  a week like this past one not exclude.d.  i've been painting again.  made a space in the garage finally.  i made an easel out of an old door and some bits of wood.  perfect standing height to work with.  just have to make another one, or be able to flip it over when my back starts aching to sit down to.   i've a couple pictures on a camera of before and afters of the mess versus the 'studio'.  i'll put them up next time if i can.

studio spaces are tremendously interesting.  time passed in these places is time of another dimension.  it passes too quickly, and usually something happens in that time.  many times, (too many), it's sort of crap, but the mind does so many different things that it's not what appears on a canvas that really matters.  it's the the existence of soul meeting material.  every day i work in an industry that saps my energies, my emotion and resource as a human that all things look to be material.  paper overflows from my desk ceaselessly.  phone calls that call for more paper and more energy come every minute of the day.  the soul is left standing in a corner sadly lamenting the time we used to spend together.  my kid, oliver says things like "you never play with me"  "only kids play with me".... 

today i fell asleep playing with him.  and woke up with him sleeping next to me. 

it's the same thing when i go down stairs to the garage.  i get to meet my soul again.  hopefully i get to put the results up on my website.   if i don't, nothing's lost.